Bambi

Taylor and I watched Bambi for the first time the other night. We've had it in the movie cabinet for 3 or 4 years, but I've avoided it. I remember watching it when I was little and being so sad when Bambi's mother got shot. Taylor watched intently, crawled up in my lap with watery eyes, and snuggled. She asked me questions, and I did my best to answer them. She's such a thoughtful child, always thinking and studying and trying to figure everything out. Having that conversation with her and her acceptance of the movie made me sad. I feel like she's lost a little of her childhood innocence.

The more I think about it, the more angry I get at Disney. Why do they have to include the death of a parent in so many of their movies? Isn't real life hard enough? Can't a fairy tale be just that? What's wrong with giving a four year old the illusion that everyone will live happily ever after?

Is it supposed to prepare children for an imperfect world where bad things happen to good people(animals)? Do they think that watching Bambi, Simba, etc. loose someone they love will somehow prepare them for loss in real life?

I can tell you that it doesn't. Nothing can.

I guess I'm a little overly sensitive. Having children makes you think about your own mortality. Even more so when you've lost a parent yourself. Since the moment I first knew I was pregnant with Taylor I've had the fear that something would happen to me before she was done "growing up"... as if there was some magic age when you're all grown up and don't need your parents anymore (I talk to my mom at least twice a day still)

I know I can't protect my kids from everything. They will know pain, and heartache, and hopefully lots and lots of happiness. I just want them to stay innocent and pain-free for as long a humanly possible.

So on this eve of my 15th Father's Day without my Dad I guess I'm just a little sad that Taylor's world is just a little less innocent.